Characters: 10th Doctor, Donna Noble
Summary: Donna is trying to learn to fly the Tardis. But she just can't get the hang of it...
Donna stood in front of the Tardis console. Orangey-green light washed over her. Above her the Tardis time rotor was pumping. She pulled a lever and slid a slider sideways.
"Now that one," the Doctor prompted, when she faltered.
She reached over and twisted the glass paperweight. She stared down at the moldy looking mushroom panel, studying the mess of keyboards, knickknacks, and controls all soldered together haphazardly.
Ratty looking coral columns soared behind her. A tatty sofa chair was taped together with duct tape.
She was surprised the place didn't smell.
"Now that one," the Doctor prompted again, when the Tardis made a weird noise.
She reached across the crusty divider and twisted the indicated button. It didn't actually twist under her hand. He'd explained that it "twisted" by detecting her fingerprints moving.
It looked like a bottlecap. There was also a chess knight tucked in the corner of one sunken section. She didn't dare touch it. She didn't know if it was attached, or if he'd just left it there in an absent moment.
"I have no idea what I'm doing," she said.
He scratched behind his ear. "Well, actually," he nodded to where her other hand had braced on the console over a flat, plate looking thing, "you just told it to clean the fourth floor toilets."
She backed up, shaking her hand. She felt like they should be covered in bits of rust. But there wasn't even any dust.
"How do you fly this thing?" she yelled. She gestured at the console. "None of it makes any sense, it's all bits of junk!"
"Oi! Don't dis the Tardis!" he yelled back.
"But look at it!" she waved around. She swept an arm at the columns.
He pivoted on one foot looking where she indicated. He didn't seem to see anything wrong.
"Half of it looks like it's grown!" she said.
"It is." He nodded in satisfaction. "Type 40 Gallifreyan Time Capsule. One of the most advanced technological marvels in the universe."
"Advanced?" she said. "I've got things growing in the back of my fridge that look like this."
"Where do you think we got the idea?"